i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
