Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
