Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
