she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize