that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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