what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
