JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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