trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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