just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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