I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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