i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
