omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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