And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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