I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
