You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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