I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
