.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
