i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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