What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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