chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
