I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
