So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
