ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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