didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
