Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
