clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
