Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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