so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
