how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
