Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
