No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
