I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize