I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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