You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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