So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
