Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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