Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My pussy is not your playground.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
