you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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