Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
