Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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