Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
