He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
