Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
