Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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