Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
