Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hippo gnu deer
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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