im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
