I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
