You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize