So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
