come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
