is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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