i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
BRING THE BAGELS
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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