Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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