I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
