Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
