HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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