38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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